Perpendicular Bisector

What the hell do you want from me

2007-05-09T03:47:00.001-07:00

With a growing sense of insecurity that lurks in the back of my mind because of the natural fallout of it being instilled by over-exposure to multi-lingual and multi-dimensional facets of violins, I seem to be loosing the ability to form proper sentences as the light of your mind fades and the sun sinks, to be replaced only by this sick sense of nothingness that you know doesn't exist and yet has the ability to influence your every action, and model your reactions to suit the ever-changing myraid of things that go on around you in the universe perpetuated by weasels and other insignificant life-forms, with the inclusion of furries, who sit around on their lazy behinds and update their blogs and myspace pages, in order that other weasels may read them and steal their ideas to put on their blogs as some form of peace offering to the nothingness that is the internet, which in a way is balanced out by the fact that this sentence in itself is redundant, self-reflexive and self-indulgent to the point of meaninglessness, and is killing you slowly by its sheer "lameness" which can't even be attributed to a lame creature, like a duck, rather, a creature that actually is lame, like a beaver that stepped on a landmine and later got stepped on by George Harrison, who was in the wetlands campaigning against landmines and cruelty to beavers, as he demonstrated what not to do to at a baptism ceremony for the pope's fourth lovechild with the chupacabra, thereby setting off a chain of cosmic events culminating in the ultimate destruction of millions upon millions of neurons in your brain, provided that you have a brain, whilst you read this sentence and pondered what the word "whilst" was doing there and if the author was fat and British, thus confusing your "inner spirit" to turn on itself and try to strangle the very next person you see, in an attempt to appease the weasel or duck-beaver/platypus that you just heard of, and have absolutely no feelings for, therefore making you a real criminal in the eyes of the obviously shitty justice system that sentences murderers to community service that is completely officious and uncalled for, which basically mean the same thing, and yet are used one after the other with the sole purpose of redundancy and repetition, to piss you the hell off while you read this sentence that is redundant and repetitive to piss you the hell off while you read this sentence that is redundant and repetitive to piss you the hell off while you read this sentence that is redundant and repetitive and never seems to end even though you know that if you scroll down you just might reach the end, but don't because you're afraid of returning to your fleeting, cold, and pointless existence where you do nothing but post scraps on social networking sites, while the all encompassing nature of this sentence forces you the ask the question, do ducks have dicks? Period.

Wha? Could you repeat the question?

The powerfullest

2007-05-09T03:10:00.000-07:00

Hummmm.....Is that a word? Is this a question? Can you kill rodent-like creatures using only toothpicks and some Plutonium?

So many questions to be answered. There are theories that define things. From the falling of buttered toast to Fission reactions in your brain....Yum.....

There should be more cheese in there though

Fuck this.......I don't want any more cabbage.........

So they tore down the Great Wall of Berlin...

2007-03-08T05:20:00.000-08:00

Last tuesday, the air is rent with the screeches of those being insessantly beaten with rather large packs of cigerettes......I don't know where this is going but lets all ride the crazy train that goes on and on into the depth of stuff.......Yeah.....Just like in "The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl".........To the land of milk and cookies....and I don't mean Hooters.......

So there they were. Tearing down the Great Wall of Berlin. Who cared if it was Hitler's paternal grand-father, also supposed to be his sister, was the one who had built it?.....The hippies had a point to prove. "You can see the graffiti from space", said Neil Armstrong, brother of Lance Armstrong (founder of the Uni-Ball foundation.....What?....I can't be heartless?......). The gaint "Fuck niggers" isn't a great sign to the aliens.......Peace......Flower power......Coccaine........I love them all........

Can you believe that?.....They cancelled my show.....Lets talk about AeroSmith......Steven Taylor made Liv Taylor?....HOW??????...Teach me...

There is absolutely nothing funny left to say about these shit-eating, moss-caked old liches. Oh wait, here's something funny: Steven Tyler has hepatitis. I just hope it doesn't kill him before some enterprising guardian of human culture can cut slit his throat from ear to ear. The only Aerosmith record I would ever buy would be a recording of that event: Steven Tyler Live: Begging, choking, gurgling, hacking, and finally fucking expiring.

I'd buy one of those insane audiophile systems for that. I'd put up acoustic egg-crate foam paneling on all my walls, and I'd buy solid-gold stereo components to ensure the most flawless fidelity imaginable. I need to hear every detail, every taut neck-tendon snapping, every screech of dull knife on cartilaginous windpipe. Ah, and I'd sit back in a big leather recliner, in the pure euphoria of knowing that Steven Tyler is suffering as much as he's made our brain cells suffer for so many years.

Legal notice: Killing Steven Tyler, even at my behest, is not considered legal in most municipalities.

And T.A.T.U.......For the perverted dudes who wish they were their sisters and cried every time they watched them in the school-zoo-cage thing.....

Hey, it's those two teenaged Russian phony-lesbians who were popular for about ten minutes before everyone realized they were straight and, come to think of it, kind of homely.

There are two types of Greatest Hits compilations in this world. Firstly, you have the high profile compilation, like the Aerosmith set, that record labels push out during the holiday season in order to sell a guaranteed few million copies and buy the head of the label a helicopter full of teenage boys. Secondly, and more commonly, you've got a label shoveling out a last-ditch effort to recoup their losses from a giant hype campaign that amounted to jack shit.

Peace, Pineapple and cheese

FUN LINKS!!!

2006-09-16T04:22:00.001-07:00

Unicorns United (thanks me) - This "brand new site as of May 21st, 1998" asks the hard hitting unicorn-related questions that everyone else is afraid to ask, like:

Are you a unicorn?

Do unicorns love dragons?

Are unicorns and lions going to fight together in the Last Days?

Perhaps the most intriguing question they address is "how hideous and creepy can a site about horses with horns get?" Here's a hint.

Gasoline and Tar...

2006-06-23T06:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything for a long time......mainly because I don't have the time and otherwise because my IQ has been acting up and the tip of me ego was showing.......

Now that we have all that cleared up, I shall attempt to review the movie Mission Impossible 3....Why?....because I wanna....

The whole movie is based on the same old dude....Ethan Hunt, who, when we last saw him, was making the Scotish unit of the super atomic-monkey squad look pretty darn bad.....
Now as everyone knows that if you mess with Spider-man....you mess with the Scotish unit of the super atomic-monkey forces......

So.....as I was saying.....Ethan Hunt was making them look bad.....and that meant that Spiderman had to do something....quick...

Change of scene and we find ourselves at the Atomic-monkey forces headquaters in...you guessed it.....Honalulu.....

There they plan, along with spiderman, on how to get back at Ethan Hunt....They're leader, McMankey.....the same one who get high off smelling petrol..and what with the hike in petrol prices, he was really pissed...

They then hire the teletubbies who are really secret agents from the planet Frgsinobvs. The teletubbies, with they're new recruit called Edgar....the black teletubby (due to racist comments made about the show, and so as to put-up a facade of racial thigyness) go on a killing spree in toy town.....Noddy turns homocidal and kills that black chick. That being Edgar's girlfriend, really screws things up.......

The plot takes a turn for the worse when they play random clips of naked old people and videos of Richard Simmons edited together big groundhogs to look like a fich trying to jack-off....

Then things get totally out of hand......Ethan get angry at all the voilence and kills himself....

Thus ends the movie and you're left with that feeling you get when you eat you ice-cream and realise that it was sock-flavoured.......

Harry Potter And the Goblet Of Fire

2005-11-12T21:43:00.000-08:00

The new potter movie......oooo.......aaaaaa........

Well...lemme get down to it.

The movie is loaded with killer lotr type graphics that make wanna scream. Yeah...scream. Well me atlest. So the graphics are from lotr. What else have the gaints WB copied? Well the whole story....yeah the whole thing...
From this book. They say they have the copy right. Yeah...and dinosaurs actually existed...phuy!...
And the actors are gettin to old. I mean look at Emma Watson....I mean really...look at her.....aaaaaahhhhh.....isn't she pretty..?.....

Well....anyways..... The other two desparately need hair-cuts.

So I'm guessing this movie will blow over in a couple of weeks. When people wake up and realise that they cant fly on broom sticks and that that weird sound isn't a dragon, it's their neighbours' dog.

Then they'll return to T.V.

The Power puff girls shall prevail.......

I'm still alive........fuckers!!

2005-08-10T07:11:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought I was dead.......just when i'd stopped writting annoying stuff and posting it on the web.......haha......I'm back......to annoy some more......

This world is a strange place....full of strange ppl.....and strange thing (me being one of them). Ever heard of the transpiration - pull cohesion thoery? Well thats how water goes from the roots of a plant to the leaves. The cells at the leave get hyper tonic to those close to it. This goes on and thus creates a pull on the water in the roots, thereby drawing it upwards. In some plants the pull is so strong it has the capacity to draw water upto a height of 50 metres.

Now...lets get down to it....I hate the fucker who invented this fuckin theory. If he is reading this...I say to you "FUCK YOU!!". I hate studying this thoery. For chrissakes....I'm in the 10th not doing ph.d

so my fellow humans......I say to you. Peace....and may the force be with you.

The new Potter book....

2005-05-15T22:31:00.000-07:00

The next Harry Potter book in the mots hottly anticipated novel since...er...the last Harry Potter book. Here's some stuff we dug up about it...

Due to Rowling's obsession with secrecy, nothing of substance is known about the plot of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince or is it the Bloody half-prince.....?..er...but here are a few suspected story lines:

The Hogwarts students topple a staue of Lord Voldemort and beat it with their shoes.

It turns out Ron's pet rat Scabbers is a carrier of SARS.

Hagrid cuts himself while shaving.....his shoulders.

Even more details about Harry's parents are revealed. Such as the fact that they adored pudding.

Harry turns out to be gay.

Well.....thats about all the plot lines we could think of (Rowling's already used the rest). Now for the review (HA! Even without actually reading the book):

At 3,800 chapters and 255,000,000 words (many of them not even of this world), everyone says that this book is too long. So we go with the voice of the public. Ahem....thats it.....thats the review. I mean what can you expect...we have'nt even seen the freakin book.

Book Excerpt:

"Dombledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon glasses. "Its time i told you evething." he said. "I should have told you all this 6 years ago....but now the time has come..I cannot delay this."

'Everything?' asked Harry hoarsely.

'Everthing,' Dombledore repeated, authoriatively. Dombledore leaned in close, his face lit dramatically by the burning brazie torch.

'THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS,' he pronounced, gravely.

'That's just Hagrid dressed up in a red and white suit.'

A thunderclap sounded in the distance, punctuating the moment. Harry could'nt believe his ears. 'NOOOOOOO!! W-what are you saying?' Harry stammered.

Dombledore grew impatient 'I'm trying to tell you EVERYTHING' he shouted.

But why does everything have to be so terrible?' Harry protested, tears streaming down his face. 'Next you'll tell me Biggie and Tupac aren't still alive and planning a reunion tour with Aaliyah's brain!'

'Er,...well,actually...' Dombledore stammered, clearing his throat.."

Enigmatic ME!!

2005-04-25T06:59:00.001-07:00

Hey ppl out there!! All those of you (about 3-4) who have been visiting my site regularly (make that 0-.5), must really be wonderin who the hell I am. The crazy, freakin, maniac who post the ultimate crap in the universe has to look like somethin......right? Or does he/she?......
For starters....well.....I'm a guy(yes, its a "u" not an "a")....you know, as in Male/Boy. Yeah, thats right. A guy. That isn' t really much, is it? Well... what the hell did you expect?? My life story??(like you wanna hear that...HA!!). I am like 15. (Any girls out there? My age. HELP!!). I may seem desparate, but I'm not. I'm just...you know.....lookin out (YEAH RIGHT!!!).
By now you may have guessed a lots about me. By the number of () you'd think I had some sort of crazy split personality. By the way keep contradicting myself, you'd think I din't know what I was thinking. By the way I'm addicted to posting/read/living/breathing crap, you'd think I a neurotic psychopath.
Well ( if you agree with the above) I've got news for you bub!!! Well....
DING!!DING!!!DING!!!DING!!! RIGHT ANSWER!!! HOW'D YA GUESS??!! You're a regular genius. I mean up there with Bush ( yeah, old Georgie). Yeah!! I respect you dude (d'oh!!).
Now, back to the point. ( Which happens to be me!!(holy crap!!)). I try to be an efficiet, corporate. Managing the whole staff that work hard, day after day, to improve the site (yeah, staff!!). I pay fair wages and keep thiee hopes up.
Remember I told you I 15? Forget that. I'm actually 33. I used work in this freakin HUGE office. I had a CRAZY HUGE salary and i was'nt not married. So i spent all the money on myself, and went mad. So I started this site.

Now remember when I told you:
"Remember I told you I 15? Forget that. I'm actually 33. I used work in this freakin HUGE office. I had a CRAZY HUGE salary and i was'nt not married. So i spent all the money on myself, and went mad. So I started this site."
Well... forget that. I'm 15. I hate pop music ( no relevence)!! And I'd still like to meet 15 year old, nice, pretty, girls(NOT DESPARATE!!).

So now... at the end of this....what have you learned?......about me?......about whatever?...............

NOTHING!!!!

Thank you. Have a nice day (sucker!!!).

Weight Loss (the pictorial guide)

2005-04-19T04:09:00.000-07:00

Have people called you a fatty or a tub of lard or maybe an over-grown baby-elephant (how crazy am I?). Well, then I'm guessing that you are really FAT!!! I mean, you must look like this:

Or maybe like this:

Which at least looks better, but is FAT non the less.

Well, what could be the problem? Why the hell are you soooo freakin FAT?!?
It maybe due to this:

Or due to this:

This:

Or maybe this:

Honestly I dont know.....

And if you want to get in better shape......

GET THE HELL OUTA HERE AND GO OUTSIDE TO DO SOME JOGGIN OR SOMETHIN!!!
COME ON YOU CAN'T JUST SIT THERE AND EXPECT TO GET THIN!!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! ITS THE PHILOSOPHER!!

2005-04-09T04:07:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought it was over, and you could visit my site without fear of the "Philosopher", she's back with a vengence. Ha!! Try to contemplate this. If you dare......

u know i find it vary interesting on how some people do stuff around here in this world. like how some people can teach other people how to do something. or how people go about doing there own thing and than someone else comes along and finds it intersting to themselfs. or how others can be so daring on wanting to do stunts. or something so dangerous and how people find that interesting to watch. that also amazes me with this world or how even people and anamals can co exist with each other now a days. and how everything in and around this place can some how learn or be tought how to communicate with other things. that is really the one true thing everything needs to survive in this planet now a days. or else there would be nothing left and that is the number one truth.. also on how all things learn how to express them selfs on different things to is also good. and u can ask anyone that there isnt one day where nothing or anyone cant learn somthing about anything at all cuz that is or would be impossable. and that is also a fact. if u even think about it i think most will find it the truth. but its up to that person on if they want to exept it or not. that is what i think is the maine beauty about humans and life its self.

-My unknow friend

Your Own Beez-Wax

2005-04-04T23:45:00.000-07:00

how many people like how everyone acts for me well i can say i like it but than again i dont but like its weird cuz its like if i someone that i dont know i can usually tell how thay are just how thay act and if its someone that acts like thay know everything than please just stay away from me oh and dont try and start a fight or argument with me either cuz guess what u wont win and if u have any problmes with how anyone else is acting well than thats just tough than hua and dont even try and talk or blable my ear off cuz i wont lison all this kind of stuff is really not my thing and accurally to tell u the truth i honestly think that god and human and this place we call planet and the world really dont mix and if u think so than u need to go back and do somthing cuz i say u are wrong. and whats another thing with people give other people wird looks and stuff than having them look back at u like what is up with you or somthing like what is your problem i say to that hay if u dont like it than turn around and walk away or just to put it shortly MYOB. well ok for u unintilagent people its like this Mind Your Own Bussness. so hope u people get smarter instead of dumber. thanks.

This was sent to me by my friend. She is smart but wishes to remain unknown.

Cool huh? Seems totally stressed out?

Hey tell you what. Memorise this whole thing and give to people when you want to be left alone. That'll make them MTOB. For you inintellegent people out there, that'd Mind Their Own Business.

Stressed?

2005-04-04T04:20:00.000-07:00

You Know You're Too Stressed If...

.You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up.

.The Sun is too loud.

.Trees begin to chase you.

.You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.

.You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.

.You can hear mimes.

.You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

.You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.

.Things become "Very Clear."

.You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.

.You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

.You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chanelers can understand.

.The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.

.You and Reality file for divorce.

.You can skip without a rope.

.It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.

.You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

.You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.

.You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

.You can travel without moving.

.Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

.You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.

.Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend.

.You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before

American Intelligence??

2005-04-03T06:40:00.001-07:00

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into aforest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest.They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months ofextensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest,killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

The Other Side

2005-04-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1.Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:
-Subtle hints do not work!
-Strong hints do not work!
-Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it !!!

1.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

2.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

3.If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1.If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1.If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

4.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

5.Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1.ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1.If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1.Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1.You have enough clothes.

1.You have too many shoes.

1.I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this. I really hope this din't seem too m.c.p-like. I really am not an m.c.p.
Phhh!! that's must be like the only crazy thing that i'm not.
p on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

The Name

2005-04-03T03:33:00.001-07:00

You have now officailly reached the end of my site. Congratulations!!! (freak...read the whole thing). Now you may be wondering about the name. It basically means nothing what so ever. So dont worry, this has nothing to do with mathematics. That must be a weight off your mind.

Or is this site about math? Am I some kind of crazy psychopath bent on taking over the world? Am i some lunatic who wants to teach people MATH???!!!!! Is world domination through the use of math my ultimate aim in life?

Now you come to another question: Why am i reading this??
Hey but please keep reading.

Now you know absolutely nothing new. Or have you learnt that i'm totally mentally unstable? Well, i guess you learn something new everyday.

Have a nice day. Or will you......?