Enigmatic ME!!

Hey ppl out there!! All those of you (about 3-4) who have been visiting my site regularly (make that 0-.5), must really be wonderin who the hell I am. The crazy, freakin, maniac who post the ultimate crap in the universe has to look like somethin......right? Or does he/she?......
For starters....well.....I'm a guy(yes, its a "u" not an "a")....you know, as in Male/Boy. Yeah, thats right. A guy. That isn' t really much, is it? Well... what the hell did you expect?? My life story??(like you wanna hear that...HA!!). I am like 15. (Any girls out there? My age. HELP!!). I may seem desparate, but I'm not. I'm just...you know.....lookin out (YEAH RIGHT!!!).
By now you may have guessed a lots about me. By the number of () you'd think I had some sort of crazy split personality. By the way keep contradicting myself, you'd think I din't know what I was thinking. By the way I'm addicted to posting/read/living/breathing crap, you'd think I a neurotic psychopath.
Well ( if you agree with the above) I've got news for you bub!!! Well....
DING!!DING!!!DING!!!DING!!! RIGHT ANSWER!!! HOW'D YA GUESS??!! You're a regular genius. I mean up there with Bush ( yeah, old Georgie). Yeah!! I respect you dude (d'oh!!).
Now, back to the point. ( Which happens to be me!!(holy crap!!)). I try to be an efficiet, corporate. Managing the whole staff that work hard, day after day, to improve the site (yeah, staff!!). I pay fair wages and keep thiee hopes up.
Remember I told you I 15? Forget that. I'm actually 33. I used work in this freakin HUGE office. I had a CRAZY HUGE salary and i was'nt not married. So i spent all the money on myself, and went mad. So I started this site.

Now remember when I told you:
"Remember I told you I 15? Forget that. I'm actually 33. I used work in this freakin HUGE office. I had a CRAZY HUGE salary and i was'nt not married. So i spent all the money on myself, and went mad. So I started this site."
Well... forget that. I'm 15. I hate pop music ( no relevence)!! And I'd still like to meet 15 year old, nice, pretty, girls(NOT DESPARATE!!).

So now... at the end of this....what have you learned?......about me?......about whatever?...............

NOTHING!!!!

Thank you. Have a nice day (sucker!!!).