The new Potter book....
The next Harry Potter book in the mots hottly anticipated novel since...er...the last Harry Potter book. Here's some stuff we dug up about it...
Due to Rowling's obsession with secrecy, nothing of substance is known about the plot of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince or is it the Bloody half-prince.....?..er...but here are a few suspected story lines:
The Hogwarts students topple a staue of Lord Voldemort and beat it with their shoes.
It turns out Ron's pet rat Scabbers is a carrier of SARS.
Hagrid cuts himself while shaving.....his shoulders.
Even more details about Harry's parents are revealed. Such as the fact that they adored pudding.
Harry turns out to be gay.
Well.....thats about all the plot lines we could think of (Rowling's already used the rest). Now for the review (HA! Even without actually reading the book):
At 3,800 chapters and 255,000,000 words (many of them not even of this world), everyone says that this book is too long. So we go with the voice of the public. Ahem....thats it.....thats the review. I mean what can you expect...we have'nt even seen the freakin book.
"Dombledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon glasses. "Its time i told you evething." he said. "I should have told you all this 6 years ago....but now the time has come..I cannot delay this."
'Everything?' asked Harry hoarsely.
'Everthing,' Dombledore repeated, authoriatively. Dombledore leaned in close, his face lit dramatically by the burning brazie torch.
'THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS,' he pronounced, gravely.
'That's just Hagrid dressed up in a red and white suit.'
A thunderclap sounded in the distance, punctuating the moment. Harry could'nt believe his ears. 'NOOOOOOO!! W-what are you saying?' Harry stammered.
Dombledore grew impatient 'I'm trying to tell you EVERYTHING' he shouted.
But why does everything have to be so terrible?' Harry protested, tears streaming down his face. 'Next you'll tell me Biggie and Tupac aren't still alive and planning a reunion tour with Aaliyah's brain!'
'Er,...well,actually...' Dombledore stammered, clearing his throat.."