What the hell do you want from me

With a growing sense of insecurity that lurks in the back of my mind because of the natural fallout of it being instilled by over-exposure to multi-lingual and multi-dimensional facets of violins, I seem to be loosing the ability to form proper sentences as the light of your mind fades and the sun sinks, to be replaced only by this sick sense of nothingness that you know doesn't exist and yet has the ability to influence your every action, and model your reactions to suit the ever-changing myraid of things that go on around you in the universe perpetuated by weasels and other insignificant life-forms, with the inclusion of furries, who sit around on their lazy behinds and update their blogs and myspace pages, in order that other weasels may read them and steal their ideas to put on their blogs as some form of peace offering to the nothingness that is the internet, which in a way is balanced out by the fact that this sentence in itself is redundant, self-reflexive and self-indulgent to the point of meaninglessness, and is killing you slowly by its sheer "lameness" which can't even be attributed to a lame creature, like a duck, rather, a creature that actually is lame, like a beaver that stepped on a landmine and later got stepped on by George Harrison, who was in the wetlands campaigning against landmines and cruelty to beavers, as he demonstrated what not to do to at a baptism ceremony for the pope's fourth lovechild with the chupacabra, thereby setting off a chain of cosmic events culminating in the ultimate destruction of millions upon millions of neurons in your brain, provided that you have a brain, whilst you read this sentence and pondered what the word "whilst" was doing there and if the author was fat and British, thus confusing your "inner spirit" to turn on itself and try to strangle the very next person you see, in an attempt to appease the weasel or duck-beaver/platypus that you just heard of, and have absolutely no feelings for, therefore making you a real criminal in the eyes of the obviously shitty justice system that sentences murderers to community service that is completely officious and uncalled for, which basically mean the same thing, and yet are used one after the other with the sole purpose of redundancy and repetition, to piss you the hell off while you read this sentence that is redundant and repetitive to piss you the hell off while you read this sentence that is redundant and repetitive to piss you the hell off while you read this sentence that is redundant and repetitive and never seems to end even though you know that if you scroll down you just might reach the end, but don't because you're afraid of returning to your fleeting, cold, and pointless existence where you do nothing but post scraps on social networking sites, while the all encompassing nature of this sentence forces you the ask the question, do ducks have dicks? Period.

Wha? Could you repeat the question?

The powerfullest

Hummmm.....Is that a word? Is this a question? Can you kill rodent-like creatures using only toothpicks and some Plutonium?

So many questions to be answered. There are theories that define things. From the falling of buttered toast to Fission reactions in your brain....Yum.....

There should be more cheese in there though

Fuck this.......I don't want any more cabbage.........

So they tore down the Great Wall of Berlin...

Last tuesday, the air is rent with the screeches of those being insessantly beaten with rather large packs of cigerettes......I don't know where this is going but lets all ride the crazy train that goes on and on into the depth of stuff.......Yeah.....Just like in "The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl".........To the land of milk and cookies....and I don't mean Hooters.......

So there they were. Tearing down the Great Wall of Berlin. Who cared if it was Hitler's paternal grand-father, also supposed to be his sister, was the one who had built it?.....The hippies had a point to prove. "You can see the graffiti from space", said Neil Armstrong, brother of Lance Armstrong (founder of the Uni-Ball foundation.....What?....I can't be heartless?......). The gaint "Fuck niggers" isn't a great sign to the aliens.......Peace......Flower power......Coccaine........I love them all........

Can you believe that?.....They cancelled my show.....Lets talk about AeroSmith......Steven Taylor made Liv Taylor?....HOW??????...Teach me...

There is absolutely nothing funny left to say about these shit-eating, moss-caked old liches. Oh wait, here's something funny: Steven Tyler has hepatitis. I just hope it doesn't kill him before some enterprising guardian of human culture can cut slit his throat from ear to ear. The only Aerosmith record I would ever buy would be a recording of that event: Steven Tyler Live: Begging, choking, gurgling, hacking, and finally fucking expiring.


I'd buy one of those insane audiophile systems for that. I'd put up acoustic egg-crate foam paneling on all my walls, and I'd buy solid-gold stereo components to ensure the most flawless fidelity imaginable. I need to hear every detail, every taut neck-tendon snapping, every screech of dull knife on cartilaginous windpipe. Ah, and I'd sit back in a big leather recliner, in the pure euphoria of knowing that Steven Tyler is suffering as much as he's made our brain cells suffer for so many years.


Legal notice: Killing Steven Tyler, even at my behest, is not considered legal in most municipalities.


And T.A.T.U.......For the perverted dudes who wish they were their sisters and cried every time they watched them in the school-zoo-cage thing.....

Hey, it's those two teenaged Russian phony-lesbians who were popular for about ten minutes before everyone realized they were straight and, come to think of it, kind of homely.


There are two types of Greatest Hits compilations in this world. Firstly, you have the high profile compilation, like the Aerosmith set, that record labels push out during the holiday season in order to sell a guaranteed few million copies and buy the head of the label a helicopter full of teenage boys. Secondly, and more commonly, you've got a label shoveling out a last-ditch effort to recoup their losses from a giant hype campaign that amounted to jack shit.


Peace, Pineapple and cheese

FUN LINKS!!!

Unicorns United (thanks me) - This "brand new site as of May 21st, 1998" asks the hard hitting unicorn-related questions that everyone else is afraid to ask, like:

Are you a unicorn?

Do unicorns love dragons?

Are unicorns and lions going to fight together in the Last Days?

Perhaps the most intriguing question they address is "how hideous and creepy can a site about horses with horns get?" Here's a hint.

Gasoline and Tar...

I haven't written anything for a long time......mainly because I don't have the time and otherwise because my IQ has been acting up and the tip of me ego was showing.......

Now that we have all that cleared up, I shall attempt to review the movie Mission Impossible 3....Why?....because I wanna....

The whole movie is based on the same old dude....Ethan Hunt, who, when we last saw him, was making the Scotish unit of the super atomic-monkey squad look pretty darn bad.....
Now as everyone knows that if you mess with Spider-man....you mess with the Scotish unit of the super atomic-monkey forces......

So.....as I was saying.....Ethan Hunt was making them look bad.....and that meant that Spiderman had to do something....quick...

Change of scene and we find ourselves at the Atomic-monkey forces headquaters in...you guessed it.....Honalulu.....

There they plan, along with spiderman, on how to get back at Ethan Hunt....They're leader, McMankey.....the same one who get high off smelling petrol..and what with the hike in petrol prices, he was really pissed...

They then hire the teletubbies who are really secret agents from the planet Frgsinobvs. The teletubbies, with they're new recruit called Edgar....the black teletubby (due to racist comments made about the show, and so as to put-up a facade of racial thigyness) go on a killing spree in toy town.....Noddy turns homocidal and kills that black chick. That being Edgar's girlfriend, really screws things up.......

The plot takes a turn for the worse when they play random clips of naked old people and videos of Richard Simmons edited together big groundhogs to look like a fich trying to jack-off....

Then things get totally out of hand......Ethan get angry at all the voilence and kills himself....

Thus ends the movie and you're left with that feeling you get when you eat you ice-cream and realise that it was sock-flavoured.......

Harry Potter And the Goblet Of Fire

The new potter movie......oooo.......aaaaaa........




Well...lemme get down to it.

The movie is loaded with killer lotr type graphics that make wanna scream. Yeah...scream. Well me atlest. So the graphics are from lotr. What else have the gaints WB copied? Well the whole story....yeah the whole thing...
From this book. They say they have the copy right. Yeah...and dinosaurs actually existed...phuy!...
And the actors are gettin to old. I mean look at Emma Watson....I mean really...look at her.....aaaaaahhhhh.....isn't she pretty..?.....



Well....anyways..... The other two desparately need hair-cuts.

So I'm guessing this movie will blow over in a couple of weeks. When people wake up and realise that they cant fly on broom sticks and that that weird sound isn't a dragon, it's their neighbours' dog.

Then they'll return to T.V.

The Power puff girls shall prevail.......

I'm still alive........fuckers!!

Just when you thought I was dead.......just when i'd stopped writting annoying stuff and posting it on the web.......haha......I'm back......to annoy some more......

This world is a strange place....full of strange ppl.....and strange thing (me being one of them). Ever heard of the transpiration - pull cohesion thoery? Well thats how water goes from the roots of a plant to the leaves. The cells at the leave get hyper tonic to those close to it. This goes on and thus creates a pull on the water in the roots, thereby drawing it upwards. In some plants the pull is so strong it has the capacity to draw water upto a height of 50 metres.

Now...lets get down to it....I hate the fucker who invented this fuckin theory. If he is reading this...I say to you "FUCK YOU!!". I hate studying this thoery. For chrissakes....I'm in the 10th not doing ph.d

so my fellow humans......I say to you. Peace....and may the force be with you.

The new Potter book....

The next Harry Potter book in the mots hottly anticipated novel since...er...the last Harry Potter book. Here's some stuff we dug up about it...

Due to Rowling's obsession with secrecy, nothing of substance is known about the plot of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince or is it the Bloody half-prince.....?..er...but here are a few suspected story lines:

The Hogwarts students topple a staue of Lord Voldemort and beat it with their shoes.

It turns out Ron's pet rat Scabbers is a carrier of SARS.

Hagrid cuts himself while shaving.....his shoulders.

Even more details about Harry's parents are revealed. Such as the fact that they adored pudding.

Harry turns out to be gay.

Well.....thats about all the plot lines we could think of (Rowling's already used the rest). Now for the review (HA! Even without actually reading the book):

At 3,800 chapters and 255,000,000 words (many of them not even of this world), everyone says that this book is too long. So we go with the voice of the public. Ahem....thats it.....thats the review. I mean what can you expect...we have'nt even seen the freakin book.

Book Excerpt:

"Dombledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon glasses. "Its time i told you evething." he said. "I should have told you all this 6 years ago....but now the time has come..I cannot delay this."

'Everything?' asked Harry hoarsely.

'Everthing,' Dombledore repeated, authoriatively. Dombledore leaned in close, his face lit dramatically by the burning brazie torch.

'THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS,' he pronounced, gravely.

'That's just Hagrid dressed up in a red and white suit.'

A thunderclap sounded in the distance, punctuating the moment. Harry could'nt believe his ears. 'NOOOOOOO!! W-what are you saying?' Harry stammered.

Dombledore grew impatient 'I'm trying to tell you EVERYTHING' he shouted.

But why does everything have to be so terrible?' Harry protested, tears streaming down his face. 'Next you'll tell me Biggie and Tupac aren't still alive and planning a reunion tour with Aaliyah's brain!'

'Er,...well,actually...' Dombledore stammered, clearing his throat.."